Unforseen consequence
by HeavenHellanime
Summary: Ulquiorra does EVERYTHING, People fight, Ulquiorra sings - and gets scouted by Aizen. Summary sucks, rate T for language, can be OOC... watch out for flying tea.


**Disclaimer: I do not own.**

**Note that this is just a simple drabble thingy I came up with during class.**

Somewhere in Las Noches, a certain green-eyed Espada was at work. Though everyone thought he was as emotionless as a rock, Ulquiorra Schiffer was anything but. He just didn't show it… much.

"Damn Grimmjow, damn Szayel Aporro, damn duty. Trash, worthless, all of them." Ulquiorra muttered angrily under his breath, cleaning the stained floor with practised movements. He'd ditched the mop not long ago, realising that the unidentified chemical wouldn't be removed normally.

"I have to do _everything _in this god-forsaken place." He continued to himself, "Babysit the woman, babysit Yammy, keep Szayel Aporro, Nnoitra and Grimmjow from fucking up…cook, clean, do the dishes, wash their fucking clothes, and the lower ranked trash refuses to lift a finger! Do they not know how difficult it is to get blood out of white fabric?!"

Ulquiorra was, by the lack of a better word, fed up with everything. This particular incident would come back to haunt him for a long time – not that he knew.

Szayel had been carrying a jar filled with…something and walking through Las Noches, while Grimmjow, the Obnoxious idiot, had started a fight. This triggered a mad goose chase all through the fortress, causing Ulquiorra's annoyance to spike and try to break the bickering morons up. The weird liquid had slipped from the pink-haired scientists' fingers and splattered all over the white floor.

Ulquiorra had therefore threatened to murder the both of them and sent them back to their respective domains. Naturally, they left their trash behind. The fourth Espada had been busy since noon, restoring 17 walls, removing over 20 scorch marks – How they got there? He didn't know. He cleaned all the remaining rubble until the splat of liquid was all that was left.

He absently wiped the trickle of sweat from his brow, scrubbing even harder while cursing the yellow, elbow-high gloves he was wearing. They looked ridiculous! Muttering some more obscenities under his breath, he sat up, nursing his sore back caused by the hunching over.

He took out some more bleach (it did wonders for the white floors) and threw the contents of the entire bottle over the stain, his outfit was white anyway. He sighed in relief when it worked.

Happy with his accomplishment, he checked his surroundings carefully before humming a song he'd heard in the World of Living for an assignment. (Read: groceries) He believed it was called '_Our world' _or – something. He didn't know WHICH human trash sang it, and frankly, he did not care.

**Soko ni dare mo ga hohoemu Hana ga saite iyou to mo  
Nozomareta no nara fumitsubusu  
Soko ni dare mo ga urayamu Shiawase no iro ga arou to mo  
Hitsuyou de areba keshisaru  
**

At some point he'd started singing out loud, and he'd go to Hell if he'd admit it, but he thought his voice was damn sexy for the so-called _Emospada_. Like those idiotic fiends didn't know he could hear them talk…

**Kibou ni soeru kekka wo narabete Zetsubou wo sakeru zettai seishin  
Sou suru koto ga sonzai riyuu na no ka  
Sou suru koto de shika sonzai dekinai no ka  
Dou yara docchi demo taishite kamawanai**

**Sing, Utau-o  
Imi nado nai to iu no ni Soko ni  
Sing, whoa-oh  
Imi wa nai to shiru koto ni sura  
Fui ni sugiru kudaranai shikou Mata fumitsubushita**

**Moshimo dare mo ga utonjiru Kyoufu no nioi midarete mo**  
**Nozomareta no nara fuujikomu**  
**Moshimo dare mo ga iradatsu Gomi ga uwameite iyou to mo**  
**Hitsuyou de areba ikashiteku**

He scoffed softly, muttering "trash" as he took of the gloves, before remembering he was singing.

**Kibou ni soeru kekka wo narabete Zetsubou wo sakeru zettai seishin**  
**Sou suru koto ga sonzai riyuu na no ka**  
**Sou suru koto de shika sonzai dekinai no ka**  
**Dou yara docchi demo taishite kamawanai**

**Sing, Utau-o**  
**Imi nado nai to iu no ni Soko ni**  
**Sing, Whoa-oh**

**Imi wa nai to shiru koto ni sura  
Tama ni sugiru kudaranai kyoumi Mata fuujikonda**

**Warera no sekai ni imi nado naku Soko ni ikiru warera ni mo Imi nado nai**

**Sing, Utau-o**  
**Imi nado nai to iu no ni Soko ni**  
**Sing, whoa-oh**  
**Imi wa nai to shiru koto ni sura**  
**Fui ni sugiru kudaranai shikou Mata fumitsubushita**

**Sing, Utau-o**  
**Imi nado nai to iu no ni Soko ni**  
**Sing, whoa-oh**  
**Imi wa nai to shiru koto ni sura**  
**Tama ni sugiru kudaranai kyoumi Mata fuujikonda**

**Soko ni dare mo ga hohoemu Hana ga saite iyou to mo…**

He glared at nothing in particular, put his hands in his pockets, and went of to feed the woman.

*Szayel's private labs*

Gin Ichimaru was a man of many words, as was his current partner-in-crime, Szayel Aporro Granz. At this point, though, the two of them were speechless.

"Ne~ ne? Did ya record tha?" He asked, turning to the pink-haired Espada next to him, who nodded and adjusted his glasses. "Naturally. Should we inform – ah, Aizen-sama?" Gins' smile grew wider.

"Yes. Yes we will. Oh, and send tha' file to ma cell. I wanna set it as ringtone." Easily said, easily done. The two men dressed in white took a disk, a portable radio, and hurried off to the self-appointed ruler of Las Noches.

*Four days later – weekly Espada meeting*

Aizen, as usual, sat at the head of the table, carefully sipping his not-obsession, tea. He smirked slightly, gazing at his favourite child. "Ulquiorra?" he inquired sweetly.

The green-eyes Arrancar looked up from his own cup of tea. "Yes, Aizen-sama?" Ulquiorra tried covering his ever-present scowl as he heard Gin and Szayel Aporro giggle. _Never a good thing. _This, of course, caught the attention of the other Espada.

"Szayel Aporro and Gin showed me something of interest earlier this week. I was unaware of your talented voice, Ulquiorra." Sad Espada, who had taken another gulp of tea while awaiting his superior's question, promptly spat the warm liquid over the table, emerald eyes widening to the size of dinner plates.

After the initial shock, he masked his expression into a careful indifference, not that the damage was already done. He sent a death glare at – seeing as Gin was his superior – Szayel Aporro. Just as things were about to escalate and end in a blood bath, a loud noise beamed through the room:

A singing voice.

Everyone was dead silent, until after a veeeerrrrry seductive note, Ulquiorra's fist hit the table. Each set of eyes (in Nnoitra's case, eye) turned to see a livid fourth Espada… with a faint pink hue on his cheeks.

"That- pick up the damn phone already!" Ulquiorra all but shrieked, somehow managing to keep the emotion out of his voice, making it all the more scary. Gin's smirk merely widened and he pressed some buttons on the device.

"Ah! Matsumoto? Nah, couldn't ha' been better! Course nah! Wel…" He chuckled sheepishly. "I might ave'." He quickly hung up, before playing the song again: Any doubt people might have had about the identity of the singer flew out the non-existing window as the voice paused, scoffed, muttered 'trash' and sang on.

Ulquiorra resigned to his fate and sat back in his chair, burying his face into his hands in a rare show of desperation. He looked up as Grimmjow started laughing and clapping. "Bravo Ulquiorra! Can ya do it again? I DARE YA, Ulquiorra, to sing that again, in front of us!"

Ulquiorra opened his mouth to refuse and preferably Cero the sexta while he was at it, but Aizen was faster: "That is not…such a bad idea, actually. Ulquiorra, I order you to sing."

The green-eyes Espada was seriously conflicted by now. He'd never disobey Aizen-sama, but it was Grimmjow's idea… but Aizen-sama said he had to…but he swore never to sing in front of people…but Aizen-sama asked…damn, this was messed up!

In the end, he frowned and stood up, walking to the other end of the table in slow, deliberate steps, playing his now-audience with every sound of a boot connecting to the white tile. He reached the end and turned around, staring at the others with a strange, passionate glimmer in his usually empty eyes.

Said eyes widened a fraction as the intro of the song started playing. He gave Las Noches' resident scientist a single glance to see the remote and smug grin.

Ulquiorra mentally shrugged. _Might as well._

It was time for the first verse, and he _sang. _Captivating the audience with his nostalgic, dark voice, drawing them in like a void, playing with their senses as he observed them through half-lidded eyes. He swung a little to the beat, and was enthralled to see all his fellow Espada – even Aizen and the other two! – in a trance-like state, because of _him._

As the last notes echoed through the meeting room. Ulquiorra slipped back behind his mask, promptly crushing the elated feelings that threatened to reach the surface. He was Ulquiorra Schiffer, he didn't _do _emotions.

He dug his hands back into their respective pockets and walked back to his seat briskly. As he sank back into his seat, he spoke softly: "I hope you are satisfied with my performance, Aizen-sama."

He shot Grimmjow a knowing look. "I heard others sing as well, Aizen-sama… Grimmjow, while under the shower, for example." Nnoitra spluttered. "Wait, Grimmjow SHOWERS?!" That broke the spell alright. Several chuckles escaped his fellow Espada, and Aizen was less-than-amused.

"Oh? Is that so? Maybe you two can do a duet… And Ulquiorra?" the Espada winced inwardly. _Now what? _

"From now on, you are to be Las Noches' official entertainer._" _Dead silence.

A cough.

A single movement in Ulquiorra's frozen person: *eye twitch*

**Omake:  
**

Ulquiorra: *about to take a shower when he hears a noise*

Ulquiorra: "Is that a - dying cat I hear?" *looks inside shower*

Grimmjow: deai ga tsumuideiku MERODI! (from Echoes)

Grimmjow: *pause* WTF U DOING HERE ULQUIORRA?!

Ulquiorra: *runs with pantera and towel flying after him*


End file.
